Kathy began by reading "Officer Buckle and Gloria", a delightful story that the students loved. I must read it to my own class in the near future. It showed how you should "show more and tell less" to get your message across.
Kathy talked about revising their stories
- watch cliches and adverbs - "ly" words - walked slowly could be dawdled, stumbled.
- think that each word will cost you $20,000, so don't have too many, otherwise it will cost you!
- don't overtell
- beware of putting too many words in a sentence.
Kathy sent them away to write some more then they came back to share what they had written.
Madison - Kathy suggested she put in some direst speech to break the narrative. Too much tell and not enough show. Everyone could see how this would help. Told to use similes, metaphors to make more emotive.
Olivia - needed more dialogue too. "They ran" better than "they were running". I suggested she spend more time on the exciting bits - climbing the tree - scraped knees, etc, how do you get up this tree you are climbing?
Madison H - increase the pace - used was/were too many times.
Session had passed very quickly, last session tomorrow.
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